Hope that they Might Change or Could Have Changed
We all have been there, where we have had thoughts of this fantasied change, especially if you have had a narcissistic relationship. Nothing is in black and white. The Point is most people need to understand how important it need to move on and obsession of that fantasy is not healthy.
The truth is they will never realise that they had a create partner in you, that they were incapable of giving you what you really needed. Why?
To live in this invisible hope that this person could have been who they are not is such a unhealthy place to be. As you are basing your life and a dream which didn't manifest.##
So when we expect that this relationship we were even, even if there were good memories in between most of the bad, this person projected their wounds onto you. Excepting that unhealthy relationships have to end, and that if you don't know what you want and the type of person you want to attract you will never move on from this stuck place.
A healthy relationship is respect and a place where your partner can respect you, and if you can be honest with yourself. By looking at the relationship your obsessing over - your lowering your standards on what you truly want and deserve.
Was this person giving me what I needed, in a relationship?
Is this person capable of what I needed in a relationship?
Excepting that this person is probably never able to give me what I need in a relationship, and this person and I were just not meant to be.
I think allot of this replaying mode of replaying this stories, " If they got their act together, If they change, there were some positive.". It creates this fake mirage, where you end up lacking self value, and self worth most importantly self love. Because when you really love yourself as soon as you except people for what they are and what they have done, you understand you cant be attached to people who are not good for you.
Do not stay attached to the mirage of obsession of someone that you cannot change or a relationship that didn't benefit your needs or provide you with love.
Emotional tactics played in that relationship are also a contributions to the obsession.
Now it may be hard to say the following
My self worth is higher then any value that past relationship put on me
My obsession for wanting change from the past, doesn't not justify my reality
My past will not dictate my future
By wasting my time on this obsession am I working towards what I deserve?
