We have all been there at some point or another whether through high school, college, university, daily life of long term or short term friendships where we question ourselves and our impacts on others as friends.
If this describes you, you’re chasing people.
You repeatedly call and text them, but they seldom reply.
You do the things they want to do even when you’d prefer not to.
You force yourself to agree with their opinions and laugh at their jokes.
You rearrange your life for their convenience.
You put much more effort into the relationship than they do.
You see, happiness is a choice. When you choose to focus on a person who doesn’t care about you, you’re choosing unhappiness. You’re not smiling. You’re thinking about the rough things in life rather that the good ones. You’re being anxious about what you don’t have rather than grateful for what you do.
When you chase people, you’re handing the keys to your happiness over to them. You’re only going to be happy when they notice you, answer your calls or are nice to you. And deep down you know that these things aren’t going to happen often enough.
If you do establish more of a relationship, it’s going to be on their terms. Every decision the two of you make will be based on what makes them happy.
2. Subconscious Belief: YOUR Self-Image Will Improve
You have a right to be here, eating and breathing and taking up space on Planet Earth. You don’t need to justify your existence. And you certainly don’t need the approval of that individual you’ve been chasing.
Do you suppress parts of your personality to avoid that person’s disapproval? Perhaps they tell you that you laugh at the wrong things, talk about the wrong topics, don’t wear the right clothes or associate with people who aren’t good enough for them.
When you change these things to please them, how do you deep down feel about yourself? Even if you don’t change these things, how does the criticism affect you?
You can’t make somebody else like you or love you. Furthermore, you’ll be just fine, whether any particular person likes you or not. The important thing is, do you like you?
Vote to keep yourself. There’s no one else in the whole world exactly like you. Take some pride in it. If chasing people makes you less than yourself, it’s time to free yourself from the habit.
3. YOUR Time is Yours: Find something better to do.
If you’re looking at your phone, wondering whether the person you’ve been chasing is going to text you back, put that phone down. Find something better to do.
Go for a walk. Try a new recipe. Take up a side hustle r just a new hobby. Focus on YOU or spending time with loved ones such as family.
Put your time, your energy and your love where it’s going to be appreciated.
Rather than chasing people who don’t value you, look at the people you see every day.
After all, who’s going to be a friend to you when you’re sick, when you’re struggling financially, when you’re grieving, when you’re hurting? Not the people you’ve been chasing, that’s for sure. Invest in relationships with people who care about you as much as you care about them.
4. You’ll Avoid Something "NOT" Good for you
If this is a person who’s belittled your feelings all along, what makes you think that’s going to change?
Furthermore, that idealized person is a human being like everyone else. Maybe they’ve got an annoying way of smacking their lips when they talk. Maybe they slurp their soup. Nobody’s perfect. That’s especially tough to take in somebody you’ve set on a pedestal.
What I’m calling for here is a healthy dose of reality.
Chasing people is no fun, and it doesn’t get better if you catch them.
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